Returning

Tonight I spent time with Jesus in a way I normally don't (but should more often). He took me to a lighthouse and sat with me for a while and told me all the things He loves about me. Some of the things He said He loved so much, I haven't done (or said) in a long time. I would turn to Him and give Him a strange look, and He would smile and say "that's still a part of who you are. And I love that about you." Some of it was so simple, like "I love that you are bubbly." I know He must have said this for a reason, because right before I went with Him I was thinking of how I wasn't as bubbly, or happy as I once was and how I wished I could return to it. And of course, my insecurity got to me this past week and I began to believe those little lies in my ears. He broke all of that off with the truth He spoke.

"I love when you laugh." This past week I was sitting in the conference and kept bursting out with my little bubbly laugh, and finally the man I was sitting next to turned to me and said "you have a very annoying laugh". I almost burst into tears right there. I had never thought about my laugh like that before, and I sure do LOVE to laugh. I didn't think I let it get to me too bad, until the next day when I told two of my friends about it, and realized how deep I let it go. Jesus broke that lie off of me by just saying "I love when you laugh".

"I love how excited you get over little things". Sometimes I think of myself as silly because I get so excited over small things. Like the color orange, or the fact that someone offers me my favorite drink when I'm at their house, or when I get a voicemail, or when someone has a prophetic word for me, or when someone writes on my wall on facebook (haha), etc. But Jesus told me He loves it.

"I love your hands." When He said this He took my hand in His and put a ring on my finger. I felt like I just became His. All His. :)

So, after talking with Jesus for while longer, I decided to see myself the way He sees me. He told me "you'll be better off that way, anyway". I laughed out loud when He said that. Jesus is a pretty funny guy (also really romantic. He loves kissing us). I'm returning to who I was originally planned to be.