To The Complicated Women

It would take a special kind of man to take on the challenge of the complicated woman. She is strong willed, witty, opinionated, emotional at times, and she knows who she is. This kind of woman recognizes the voice of God and walks in power. This kind of woman doesn't need a man who just wants someone who is "easy to handle", because this woman is not easy to handle. I have noticed that this kind of woman often feels as though no man could ever be up to the challenge. She is nice and sweet, but she is fiery and vicious at times as well. When you provoke her wrath, you may end up in a heap. It takes a special, strong kind of man to love this woman. But when he loves her, he is taken aback. He falls so far that there is no recovery. This man knows that loving this woman isn't easy. It's messy and at times unsafe. But he knows loving her is better than not loving her. She loves deeply, and feels deeply. Her heart is like gold - pure and wholesome. She knows the meaning of love and passion.

This woman is hot and then she's cold. Up and down, side to side. But once you know her heart, you know her well. The man who loves this woman lives to see her smile. He has the heart of a Warrior Poet - knowing what it means to treat her right. He knows her presence in the room changes the atmosphere. He doesn't feel small when he's with her, even though she is powerful. He feels big and strong, because he knows that he is her protector. He is her man. She compliments him on his worthiness, strength, and passion. She loves how protective he is, and knows that he keeps her heart safe. This woman appreciates his humor and loves when he makes her smile. Together they are unstoppable. The world can not contain them. They live from heaven, and move in God and with God to see the earth changed for His glory. A match made in heaven.

I dedicate this blog to Alec. You are beautiful, unstoppable, and worthy of being pursued. You hold us captive by your strength. You are complicated. You are wonderful. Your heart is gold. I love you.

Both Worlds

Growing up, tomboy is just what I did. I climbed trees, didn't care about my hair or face, or what I wore. I couldn't care less of what you thought of me. As I grew older I began to wish I was one of those cute little girls who let her mommy dress her up for sunday in a cute pink dress. Or a little girl who loved playing dress up, and thought boys were icky (I basically thought they were the bomb...and my best friend was a guy until I was 13). As much as I wanted the princess in me to come out, there has always been a fighting spirit in me. As soon as I heard about UFC, I submerged myself in it. Kickboxing was the new high for me when I was 15. Don't get me wrong, I loved and still love every second of it. But there's such a contrast between my two worlds. When I tell people (mainly guys) that I'm in to UFC and kickboxing and such, they build this image in their minds of who I am. Some girl who could kick their butts. When they hear my girlie side, they think I'm being two faced. How do I maintain both sides of me? I don't want to lose any part of who I am...

Now. I have this side too. The side that thinks twirling skirts are adorable, and who dreams of the perfect guy coming for her someday, and can find beauty in anything. The side that cares what you think, and wants to look beautiful. How do I balance this out...It's definitely hard. I've learned though, that I am who I am. Take it or leave it. I won't give up either side of me. Both sides are as true as the other one. I don't prefer one over the other. I don't want to be the girlie girl who thinks blood is gross and could never kill a bug. But I also don't want to be the tomboy who has no emotion and just likes beating anything and anyone up, and doesn't care about how she looks. I am both. Get over it.

Kind Of In Love

"She's as sweet as the summer time
And strong as the sunshine
And I don't want to know her
I let myself down."
-The Avett Brothers

These lyrics really make my heart pump. :) First of all, I've always wanted to be related to as summer time or sunshine. Just those nicknames alone make me turn away and blush. :/ No one ever sees my romantic side, or how much I really long for a special love. I'm like any little girl, dabbling in her mothers make-up and playing dress up, only that's not what I've ever been. I was a tomboy all through my life, and now as I'm getting older I feel like going back to childhood and sitting in my daddy's arms and just soaking in the love. Just playing the princess. I never wanted to be the princess in the story - but I do now. I want to be someone's sunshine. Someone's princess. But I don't want them to feel they can't know me for some reason. I always feel like, when I find a dashing young man, that I can never have one of my own. I know this is silly, but I have always felt this way. Like I'm not the sunshine, I'm not the sweet summer time, or the beauty. And I'm afraid that if someone ever sees me as that, they will be too afraid to pursue me ("And I don't want to know her. I let myself down.")

In the last few weeks my Papa has really begun to speak to my heart. He's showing me I really DO want that love, and it's wonderful to want that. I shouldn't feel embarrassed or wrong to desire that love from someone someday. And He's showing me my heart. He gave my dad the name "Sarah Eve" before I was born. He said "give that name to your first born daughter!" There is a reason I have this name. The meaning: Princess Life. :) It makes me smile now. I want to be someone's princess, and I intend to be one day.

To the men: Please, love your woman. She wants it badly. Love and beauty are just a part of a woman's heart. She needs to know she is loved and beautiful. Be the hero. Sweep her off her feet, you brave young men! Be her superhero. And as I pray for my own hero to come one day, I sit and wait in my Papa's love. He wraps me in Him. If the woman is in Him, travel through His heart, and you will find her.

"I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life."
-Frou Frou "Holding Out For A Hero"

Max

Where The Wild Things Are. This was (and still is) my favorite book. My dad would sit with me and my siblings every night and read that book to us. He did all the voices, and we had tickle time when the Wild Things said "We'll eat you up! -We love you so!" We made up our "Rumpus" song and paraded around the house (my dad being a Wild Thing, and me being Max), yelling our song.

When I was 5, my grandfather would sing to me the Wild Thing song. "Wild Thing! You make my heart sing! You make everything - groovy!" I was a Wild Thing. I loved being Max, though. I had the same desire for adventure that he did. Oh how this trailer makes my heart long for that again! Adventure! Being a child at heart isn't being immature. It's realizing who we are.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POYc7U76FC8

My heart is tangled up

I feel my heart wanting to go in so many different directions. This season I'm in is so free, but I also feel like I've left part of me behind when I came to California. I feel something missing. My adventure, maybe. I have such a crazy heart - always wanting to go here and there, and take everyone with me! Always wanting to love, all the time, and take that love and fill someone who needs it.

I can almost hear my adventure calling my name! "Sarah! Come dance with me. Come with me and I will take you to the places your heart wants to go". I so want to say "yes!" But I don't know what to do with myself. How do I give into the adventure God has for my life...? The other day, I was listening to Kings of Convenience and the song "Gold In the Air Of Summer" came on. Papa spoke to me through those lyrics.

"I came to pick you up. You didn't even hesitate, now you and Me are on our way. I think I brought everything we need. Don't look back. Don't think of all the places you should have been. It's a good thing you came along with Me."

It's good that I came. Now I just need to see the next thing He has for me.