The Proverbs 31 Woman: Is She Weak or Powerful?

I was reading Proverbs 31 this morning, as I always do at the end of every month, and I thought "I keep reading the same version; maybe I should try a different one." So I tried the Amplified version. I really love this version of the Bible, because it gives a lot of perspective on what a verse might be saying. I don't always agree with verses in this version, but Proverbs, to me, leaves a lot of room for interpretation (not always, but sometimes) because of the poetic language it uses. If you have ever read a poem in a group of people, you will have heard many different interpretations. So today I want to share with you my view on The Proverbs 31 Woman, Amplified Version Style.

I have heard some of my Feminist friends back home say that a REAL woman would never aspire to be a Proverbs 31 Woman, because they would be aspiring to be a submissive wife and serving mother with no identity. I could not disagree more. I do not find this woman to be a weak woman, but rather an intensely powerful woman. A powerful woman is unselfish in her actions, and is able to control herself emotionally, physically, and spiritually. She doesn't let the opinions of others' determine who she is, but rather her own personal actions. A powerful woman serves the ones she loves, while not becoming a doormat for anyone.

A powerful woman has her own opinions which come from a place of wisdom, not from the desire to hear her own voice! She considers her actions carefully, and makes an informed decision in every situation. She doesn't run people over with her opinions, but rather waits until the moment is right and speaks with confidence. She holds others in high regard, treating every one, whether rich or poor, black or white, with kindness. A powerful woman is intelligent and wise. She is capable, and independent. She is virtuous - making decisions that don't compromise her beliefs, and remaining obedient to God.

That is my view of a powerful woman! And I will show you that the Proverbs 31 Woman is indeed a powerful woman!

"A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman--who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls." 31:10

"The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely...." 31:11

"She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard." 31:16

"She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm." 31:17

"She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust]." 31:18

"She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit]." 31:20

"Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]!" 31:25

"She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction]." 31:26

"She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat." 31:27

"Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying], Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all." 31:28,29

"Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!" 31:30

That is indeed a powerful woman! I think if you can make such an impact in others lives that they literally praise your works, you are a powerful woman! I aspire to be like the Proverbs 31 Woman, although I am nowhere close!

Even Fairy Tales Get Rough

Daniel and I decided to write a blog about our recent troubles. We debated for a little while about whether or not we would tell everyone, because the fact of the matter is that not everyone will understand. Not everyone will agree, and a lot of people will even think we are foolish or stupid. But this is our real story, real feelings, real circumstances.

*Although these events really happened, names, places and minor details have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.

Daniel and I knew before we even started dating that we both wanted to adopt children one day. We both felt that it was a part of our calling as separate people, and now our calling as a couple. Talking about it for several years now, we believed we would adopt a child/children after we finished having our own biological children. But like always, things changed. 

A friend called me up last week to tell me that a mutual friend of ours was pregnant. It wasn't a happy occasion, though. It was an unwanted pregnancy. She was going through a lot of changes in her life, and just couldn't handle a baby right now. So she planned an appointment with Planned Parenthood to get an abortion. When my friend told me about it, I told Daniel, and we immediately knew in our hearts' that we had to do something. We called my friend back and told her "we will adopt the baby if she doesn't go through with the abortion." 

Our mutual friend said she needed to think about it, because right now she needed to focus on herself and make the right choice for her own circumstances. She was going through her own personal battles, and we understood that. But we continued to pray that God would speak to her and she would not take the decision to get the abortion. 

Over the next few days, we began to dream of what it would be like to raise this child. What would we tell this child when they got older? We dreamed of their first moments: first word, first day at school, first best friend, first date, first kiss, the day they bring their future husband/wife home to meet us, their wedding day, etc. Slowly but surely we fell in love with a child we would never hold in our arms. We fell in love with a child that, to us, was worth it all. We were willing to give up so much, and give this child all we had! If it meant saving this life, giving this life opportunities that otherwise wouldn't be available, we were ready to do it. This child didn't grow inside of me, but I felt like it was already a part of me.

Earlier this week I received a text from my friend. It was simple: "She went through with it. I'm sorry."

It felt like all of time stopped in that one moment. A life that once was, wasn't anymore. Just like that, the child was gone. I couldn't do anything about it, I couldn't change the mother's mind, I couldn't save this life. I sat there, helpless, all the emotions welling up inside of me. All the emotions except one: hate. I didn't hate her. She took this life and basically flushed it down the toilet, but I wasn't angry. I felt sadness. Sadness for this lost child, and sadness for this mother, my friend. I can only hope that when she realizes what she's done, God will be there to comfort her. That she will feel His love overwhelming her; His grace covering her. That is my hope and prayer for her.

As for the baby, (and YES, it was a baby), I will love that child forever. I can't explain it, but one day I will meet that child and finally hold them in my arms. That child is waiting in heaven for the people he/she never got to meet, with only love and forgiveness in their heart for the same woman who aborted him/her. I truly believe that. 

If it was a girl, we were going to name her Esther, because in the Bible Esther stopped the annihilation of an entire group of people. Although this is a tragedy, Daniel and I will continue in our calling to adopt children. We believe in saving lives that are unwanted, standing up for those who can't stand up for themselves - saving them from certain annihilation.