That doesn't mean all of my desires are evil. In fact, the Lord says that if we delight in Him, He will give us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37). So what do we do with those desires? How do we manage them? Because it isn't good to just give ourselves to our desires, that would result in total chaos in our lives. No, we give them to God. He knows how to manage them.
"Lord, all my desire is before You; And my sighing is not hidden from You." -Psalm 38:9
See? We are to bring our desires before Him. It's no use hiding them from Him, He can see into the depths of our souls whether we offer it to Him or not. Even if our desires are unholy desires, even then is the time to bring them before Him. We are to offer ourselves, the good and the bad, fully to Christ so that we may be filled with His desire and His love for us.
It says in Psalm 145:19 "He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He will also hear their cry and will save them." And in Proverbs 10:24 it says, "What the wicked fears will come upon him, But the desire of the righteous will be granted." (I already mentioned this one) In Psalm 37:4 it says, "Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart."
So it says those who fear Him, those who are righteous, and those who delight in the Lord will have their desires fulfilled. But why? Because their hearts are after God. Their desires belong to God because they fear Him. They go before Him daily and lay their desires at His feet - they seek first the kingdom of God, and then their desires are added to them. Their hearts are constantly being formed into His likeness, so their desires are good not evil, because they desire first His kingdom.
I know I'm just repeating things over and over, but I'm really writing this for myself, because I have to. I need to write this. Honestly, sometimes my desires seem so overwhelming; you know that feeling like "I need that!" or "I have to have it or I'll just die!" etc, etc. That longing deep inside your soul for something. You can't explain it, but you know you want it. I have these feelings all the time. But I can never have them in my own power; if I go out and fulfill those desires myself, I would surely parish, because I would be operating out of man-made power not out of my rest and trust in God. But if I give my desires to Him, they will be fulfilled in His timing.
Right now, one of my strongest desires is to be in Colombia. I can't explain it, but I have a longing for that country. To be there. To live there. To work there. To minister there. I want it more than almost anything right now. I've prayed about it every day, it's always coming to mind at the most random moments. It started last summer when I went for a conference called Sobredosis. I couldn't explain the feelings I left with, but I knew my future was there. I have prayed almost every day since then that God would bring me back there; that He would provide a way for me to live there (and provide the money and resources as well). I have prayed about it and I believe it to be a desire from the Lord. But if I make it happen out of my own strength and impatience, I know it won't end well. I believe I am supposed to be there, and I have a desire to be there now, but it has to happen in God's timing or it won't be right.
I have to bring this to the Lord every day. He knows I want it, and He knows the right time to bring it about. Maybe right now isn't the time. I feel like it will happen this year, but I can't be certain. Whenever it is meant to happen, I pray that it only happens in His will and timing and out of favor with Him.
I'll end with one more verse. Since I've been speaking about desire; there is one desire that is more important and greater than any other -
"O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water." -Psalm 63:1
