A Song For The Road

I wrote a song called "A Prayer of Moses" from a psalm in the Bible. It goes like this:

"Satisfy me in the morning with Your unfailing love, that I may sing for joy and be glad the rest of my days. Make me glad for as many years as I have seen trouble. And may Your blessings be shown to me; Your splendor to Your child. May Your favor rest upon me. Establish the work of my hands - yes, establish the work of my hands."

I feel this song closer to my heart now than when I first wrote it. It's good for me to focus on His unfailing love right now, and focus on joy. I feel like this is a song for new things - a prayer for Him to establish me and bring me favor as I go into the unknown. As I travel back home, I carry this song in my heart.

(if you would like to hear the song, visit my music page: www.myspace.com/saraheveproject

Goodbye's are never easy

As many people know, I make connections with people easily. Most people don't believe that you can have deep connections with more than a couple people, but it feels like I have deep connections with almost everyone I meet. Of course there are different levels of connections...there has to be for it be healthy. However, I do connect with people more than others.

I went through school this past year in Redding California. I had 700 something classmates; all whom I wanted to know. I got to know quite a bit of them, and every day with them was wonderful. I learned how to be confrontational, strong, beautiful and full of life. I learned how to be myself around them. I never imagined being away from them. I guess I never thought we would lead different lives again. But that's how things go.

I'm going home to Miami, for at least the summer. It will be hard leaving the people and the culture. I'll be living a totally different life, without the people I learned to call family. They mean a lot to me, and I hope with all my heart I can come back for a second year with them. You all are amazing, and I love you. You guys have changed my life, and helped me see that loving people isn't a waste. You all are beautiful people.

To my brothers: You helped me see that I'm a princess, and you protected and loved me like one. You also didn't let me use that against you, and you put me in my place on more than one occasion. I am so very thankful for the car ride conversations, the starbucks sit ins, the homework parties, the worship nights, the inside jokes, and the warm hugs. Oh and thanks for letting me cook for you. You guys made me feel beautiful and safe. Thanks. :)

To my sistahs: Where to begin. You all have been some of the biggest influences in my life. You were real with me, and didn't let me get away with crap. You modeled to me what strong women of God look like and let me be myself completely around you. Thanks for the sleepovers, the ice cream dates, the cook-offs, the cook-ins ;), (the cooking in general), the back and forth bantering, the movie nights, the worship nights, and all the fun all year. You beautiful strong women are lights in my life. I love you all.

To my small group: I can't begin to say how influential you were in my life. I needed you guys and you were there for me. When I had something amazing, or hard happen I could tell you! I never felt that deep deep connection that all 5 of us had together. I got 2 sisters and 2 mommas from our group, and it was amazing!! I will never forget your words of wisdom, and your ability to stay grounded. I'm thankful to have seen the transformation in all of you, and to have learned from each of you. Love you!

Moving On

It feels significant, packing my whole life into boxes and standing back looking at an empty room. I remember the first time I did that, almost a year ago. I stayed up all night packing, getting ready to fly across the country for school. Now, even though I'm not flying across the country, it feels even more significant. This is a new beginning, and God is going to bless it.

There's always a bittersweet feeling when you're leaving your past behind and traveling on to new and greater things. I know, though, that God blesses the faithful and obedient. If I stay in His will than I'll be better than just fine.

So, cya bedroom, cya past. Hello future, you look beautiful and bright.

The long journey

It seems like I've realized more of who I am since school has been out than I did while school was in process. I haven't been surrounded by people all day. I've had to take a step back and examine my life. To be honest, some of the things I was presented with were shocking. My character was tested so many times in so many ways. I had to ask myself "why do I feel this way?" or "why am I acting like this" more times than I can count. It showed me who I could be if I took the high road, and who I could be if I took the low road.

There is no middle road. There is no room for lukewarmness. We must make a decision. Papa showed me how strong I am, and how capable I am. It helped me get through what I was struggling with. It helped me get back to His comfortable embrace.

What I battled with the most these past few weeks were my emotions. I seemed to be getting upset over the silliest things. I was letting people dictate my actions and my feeling, which is never a good thing. I called my dad at one point and he told me "Sarah, you have to ask yourself why you are so affected by what happened." Why would I get so upset over something so silly? Did I feel threatened? I began asking myself questions similar to those, and it only led to more and more questions that led to even more questions. Eventually I came to several conclusions, with the help of Holy Spirit.

It was a hard process, and it certainly isn't over. It seems to go on forever. But I'm finding out who I am and what I possess inside of me.