BFF

Best friends spend time together; loads and loads of time together. They're always sitting next to each other, debriefing each other about their days over a long conversation, getting coffee, eating together, having sleep overs, laughing, etc. you can always tell who someones best friend is.

God's best friend's, I think, are the ones who spend the most time with Him.

Family

As a child your family is usually your whole world. You grow up with your siblings, and they play a huge part in who you become. They belong to you, and you belong to them. Your parents are supposed to be an example of God's authority in your life...helping you make the right decisions to guide your life, until you learn to hear God's voice clearly (in my opinion, anyway).

Once you move away you start reconstructing your life. You find people who become a part of a different type of family. People who you treat with the same love, but they're missing a certain quality. They don't know your history like your blood relatives do. It doesn't matter how far you move away, or how little you speak to them, your real family can never be replaced.

My family is a unique one. We all have different personalities, and different callings on each of our lives. I grew up home schooled, so I was with my family almost all the time. They know me so well, which means they know how to make me laugh, but they also know how to ____ the heck outa me (I left that one word out, because I learned today that my little brother isn't allowed to say it...haha). However, I don't think they can ever be replaced. My older brother will always be my older brother. No amount of "big brothers" I acquire at Bethel could ever replace him. My sister, Rachel, will always be my best friend. We went through a long season of love/hate...but I love her to death. No matter how many girlfriends I acquire here at Bethel, none of them could replace her.

That applies to all of my siblings. Leah, Ariel and Jonathan too. They are my heart. I love them all so much. They're my family. My parents are great. I am only realizing this now that I'm older. Ha. They've always been amazing, but as a kid you kind of take them for granted...like "oh, they'll ALWAYS be here." They both have unique gifts and ways. They're great parents. They've taught me a lot, and helped me grow in my gifts and callings, and always encouraged me to be myself and no one else.

Your family is probably quiet, the perfect amount of peaceful, humble, and highly educated. Well my family is crazy, way too big, way too loud, and way better than yours. ;)

Dreams

Before school started I wrote out 100 dreams that I wanted to see happen in my life. Not all for that year, just for my entire life. Today in class Danny Silk spoke on dreams, and said that he did the same thing. He wrote out 100 dreams for his life and continues to add onto them. Well, I went back and looked at my dreams. I had put check boxes next to each one, but hadn't gone back to look at them since I had written them.

These are a few dreams that have come true this year, already:

1. Travel to a poor country and work with children

2. See my prophetic gift get stronger

3. See blind eyes opened

4. Lead someone to Christ

Those are a couple that I've seen happen. It's crazy to think that God remembered those dreams, even when I didn't! He worked it out so that I went on the trip to Mexico, and led a group in children's ministry (making number 1 a reality). It's just...beautiful. Beautiful to think He cares about my dreams even when I don't think about them.

Love Is Tricky

I think it takes a strong person to fall in love. You have to put your heart in someone else's hands and trust they don't hurt it. We have to decide if it's worth it. There's a chance we could walk away bruised and hurt. But there's a chance we won't have to walk away at all. There's a chance you've found that one person who is completely perfect for who you are. Your other half.

I have this fascination with the heart. With love. I think the heart was created for love; to love. We just get so caught up protecting it, we forget that. We forget that love is like the blood our heart needs to pump - to survive. We've been starving ourselves of love for far too long. It's time to hand someone the keys and be vulnerable. It's time we trust again.

Hope & Expectation

Mornings, lately, have brought a new hope to me. I don't feel tired or sluggish. I wake up with an expectation for great things! Jesus meets me exactly where I'm at, sweeps me off my feet, and we go on our morning adventures. It's the perfect way to start the day. Jesus has a way with me that keeps me smiling all day long, hoping and waiting for something great.

It's true what William Styron says, "It is hopelessness, even more than pain, that crushes the soul". Hope gives us something to look forward to each day. That expectation for Jesus to meet us. It's what keeps us going. It's such a beautiful thing.

The heart of the matter

I had finished writing this blog post about an hour ago, and ended up erasing all of it. Sometimes what I want to say doesn't have to be as big as everyone wants to make it. So I erased the 5 paragraphs explaining what I'm about to say.

My heart isn't what I thought it was. My whole life, leading up to this past week, I've tried to make myself the tough one. One who's heart can't be broken, and one who doesn't open her gate to anyone. But I realized that there comes a time when you can't protect your heart anymore. You have to give it to someone else to protect. Love isn't love unless you share it. I realized that all of my efforts to protect my heart were pointless. I was trying to keep the key to my heart hidden from everyone. The problem with that is, it doesn't leave room for someone to know you truly and intimately the way God intended it to be. God created us to know one another deeply. Yes, it leaves room for hurt and heartache, but it's a love so passionate - a love I'm not willing to miss out on anymore.

You can protect your heart to an extent. It does say to guard your heart in the Bible...but not so much that you leave no room for intimacy. The One who made me is the One I can trust my heart with. He will protect it, and nudge me along. He'll let me know who to let in. I used to think that because my heart is soft, and my heart is easily taken, that I couldn't give it to anyone. I would be cheating so many people out of a real love if I chose not to give my heart to anyone because I may get hurt. That's so ridiculous. God made my heart the way it is for a reason. There are people in the world who need to know me intimately. God made my heart for people. To keep it to myself would be a crime.

Don't keep your heart to yourself. It was made for others. Your heart is on display - let people see the love God has put inside of you. Dare to be vulnerable. It'll sure set you free. :)

I think God decided to show me all of this now, for a reason. This time in my life there are changes. He's bringing along people, so I will be forced to open my heart to them. It will be hard to trust people not to make a mess of me...but we were made for each other. We were made to lean on another. We need real, honest, intimate relationship. Plus, it's preparing me for that one relationship I've wanted for a while. God's timing is perfect.