The truth about ourselves

The only way we can truly know who we are is being in a relationship with Jesus. He knows who we are in heaven; what we're known for; who He created us to be. What we ACT like here on earth, is not exactly who we ARE in heaven. Who we are in heaven is who Jesus planned for us to be all along.

Last night, I got fed up with my sarcasm (that's sayin a lot when you get fed up with your own sarcastic humor), and decided to take it to God. I didn't like the way I felt when I used sarcasm to put me in a higher place over another person. The only way I can really get to a higher place is through Jesus, anyway. So I told God "I hate this part of me." He quietly, and kind of with a chuckle, said "But Sarah Eve, that isn't even who you are! Check this out!" And He started showing me who I really was. He created me with a great sense of humor, and I don't need to use sarcasm to be funny. He told me all of His "opinions" of who I am to Him, and who He made me to be. It totally wrecked me. So I took out my notebook and wrote down everything that He told me.

After all of that, I read over the list. It's really long and deep, but truth. Now that I know who I really am, I have to practice being that. Obviously, it won't all come natural, because I've lost that sense of who I am in the Kingdom - but I can certainly practice. Practice makes perfect. And although I may never be perfect, I can certainly be righteous.

Song Writing from the Psalms

Today I decided to shake it up a bit and write some music to a Psalm. I wrote it from Psalm 90:14-17

"Satisfy me in the morning with Your unfailing love, that I may sing for joy and be glad the rest of my days. Make me glad for as many years as I have seen trouble. May Your blessings be shown to me; Your splendor to Your child. May Your favor rest upon me. Establish the work of my hands - yes, establish the work of my hands."

Here's the link to listen to it: http://www.myspace.com/saraheveproject

It's called "A Prayer of Moses" :)

Presenting a Treasure

My entire life has been what Esther's life was like in those months she was being "prepared" for the king. I haven't told very many people my testimony, but I felt it was time. When I was 13 I made a promise of purity with myself and with God, and also decided not to date until I turned 19. If you know me, even a little, you can ONLY imagine how hard it was for me not to give my heart to someone. I love connection - intimacy, sharing secrets, things like that. But I promised to let God work on my heart through my teenage years, to prepare me for my future "king" (or prince...whatever). In those years, He transformed me. He gave me a fragrance straight from heaven. A fragrance that my husband will be very attracted to.

Something I've learned over the past month (since I turned 19), I'm still in that preparation season. Until He brings that guy (which I am open to finding now, since I'm "of age" so to speak) I am still being lavished with that fragrance, and being trained. Just because I reached the age where I am now available, doesn't necessarily mean that my guy is ready. I think God is testing me right now, seeing if I really want a prince, or if I just want someone to lean on. Um...thanks but no thanks, I think I'll wait for my prince.

I'm not just a girl. I'm a warrior princess. I have a lot to offer. I have a treasure I've been storing up for a LONG time. I went through a lot to get to this point, and I'm not about to throw it to the first guy who gives me a look. Check out all the stories, guys. The knight has to EARN the woman's love. He has to show himself worthy. You gotta be some outstanding guy to get this girls attention. So fellas, don't be thinking you can get any girl you want with a simple kiss on the cheek. You have to fight just like she has fought. She didn't go through the battle, to get some wussy who copped out of the fight. "He's gotta be fresh from the fight", Imogen Heap would say.

I am His promise

God is saying to us, "I will draw you to Me forever in righteousness, in justice, in mercy. No longer your Master, but your Husband I will be. You have ravished My heart with one glance from your eyes. How fair is your love, My promise, My bride. I will draw you and Me together in loving kindness, in faithfulness, in grace."

-Song by Brian Johnson

God knows our hearts. He knows us better than we know ourselves. It astounds me that He can still love me with a greater love, even when I'm not fully aligned with His plans and purposes. He can still find me more beautiful than ever, even when I'm in the middle of ugly. We have a good, romantic God. I don't ever want to take Him for granted...He's too wonderful to let go. I want to enjoy everything about Him.