Both Worlds

Growing up, tomboy is just what I did. I climbed trees, didn't care about my hair or face, or what I wore. I couldn't care less of what you thought of me. As I grew older I began to wish I was one of those cute little girls who let her mommy dress her up for sunday in a cute pink dress. Or a little girl who loved playing dress up, and thought boys were icky (I basically thought they were the bomb...and my best friend was a guy until I was 13). As much as I wanted the princess in me to come out, there has always been a fighting spirit in me. As soon as I heard about UFC, I submerged myself in it. Kickboxing was the new high for me when I was 15. Don't get me wrong, I loved and still love every second of it. But there's such a contrast between my two worlds. When I tell people (mainly guys) that I'm in to UFC and kickboxing and such, they build this image in their minds of who I am. Some girl who could kick their butts. When they hear my girlie side, they think I'm being two faced. How do I maintain both sides of me? I don't want to lose any part of who I am...

Now. I have this side too. The side that thinks twirling skirts are adorable, and who dreams of the perfect guy coming for her someday, and can find beauty in anything. The side that cares what you think, and wants to look beautiful. How do I balance this out...It's definitely hard. I've learned though, that I am who I am. Take it or leave it. I won't give up either side of me. Both sides are as true as the other one. I don't prefer one over the other. I don't want to be the girlie girl who thinks blood is gross and could never kill a bug. But I also don't want to be the tomboy who has no emotion and just likes beating anything and anyone up, and doesn't care about how she looks. I am both. Get over it.