The thing is, I don't feel like a kid. I mean, I'm silly and childlike, but I don't feel like a kid. I feel like a grown woman who wants children. I look at all of my 30+ friends who aren't married but want to be. They've waited a long time, and are STILL waiting, and here I am at only 18 years old wanting to have kids now. People always think I'm just so discontent and naive. Discontent isn't the right word - impatient, however, for a promise to be fulfilled is probably how I would describe my state of mind. I want kids. I was promised that I would be a mother. And I'm holding onto that. I'm chasing after it. You can call that discontent, or being naive, or whatever else. I know, though, that mothering is what I was created for (partially, of course), and I'm not letting go of that.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Oh, to be a mother
Every time I take care of children it reminds me how much I want my own. My desire to have kids is WAY bigger than most single women. I haven't even started dating someone and I already have this deep want to have my own kids. I always question myself like "Is this okay? Is this something I'm allowed to want right now?" I always end up asking someone else and they usually answer with "You're too young to worry about that. Be a 'kid' for as long as you can."
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You are very smart for your age. I was reading your post and surprised when you said 18! Hear is my advice and you may take it or leave it, but I consider myself pretty experienced being that I will be 39 later this month... OH MY! I married at 31 and had my first child and 32. Looking back I will say with 100% certainty that I am so glad I didn't start a family earlier. I grew so much as a person in my twenties. I never would have been able to handle marraige, let alone a child. That being said. We are all different. I know of some very capable young mothers who are smart and do a fantastic job. All I would do is try not to rush any of it. God has a way of making things happen exactly as they should! I think it is great that you know what your dreams are! ~Lanie
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your impute, Lanie! :) I always enjoy hearing new perspectives. Gives me something to think on. - Sarah
ReplyDelete28 and single here. I've been around and around the circle when it comes to marriage and kids: from miserable being single, to perfectly content in my season and everything in between.
ReplyDeleteI have friends that are much older than me that are still single. I have friends much younger than me who are already married. I have married friends who desperately want kids and haven't been able to have any yet. I can't pretend to understand God's timing, but I am learning what a mistake it is to compare when or how things happen in your life to when or how things happen in other peoples' lives.
I applaud you for knowing what your dreams and desires are and holding onto them so tightly. I definitly was not there when I was 18! This would be my piece of advice from someone who's 10 years older than you and still on the path of being single while desiring a family: make sure you keep your hope in God, not in your dream. On the one hand, It's a pretty obvious thing, but on the other hand, it can be harder than it sounds, especially when we're talking about what is probably your greatest heart's desire. It's far too easy without realizing it to start placing your hope in the THING you want, rather than the ONE who gave you the desire and will fill it at exactly the right time.
Just my 2 cents!
Jennifer, you are SO right in everything you said. :) It it hard to keep myself from putting hope in the thing, and not the One who will bring it about. Thank you so much for your input. It really means a lot. I'll take every word of it. :)
ReplyDelete-Sarah