Wreck Me

God loves messing with us. I really believe that. But especially me. I think He purposefully chose me at the beginning of everything to be the one He picked on the most. He likes messing up my plans (makes sense when my plans aren't His plans), messing up my relationships (makes sense when those relationships are more than what they should be), and messing with my time! He just makes a big to-do about everything! And then He makes me clean it up. Come on, now! Seriously?

Then I stop and think. Well, He isn't really the one that messed everything up. It was me. He just brought it all into the light so that WE could deal with it together. That's the great thing about God. He doesn't just leave me alone to clean up my messes...He helps me through it. Don't get me wrong, it's totally rough - and let's be honest, it just plain sucks! But He has a way of making me feel good in the process, because I know that He's bringing me something new to start over. Something new to live for, and something better to smile at!

I've been in this tough place lately. I just don't feel happy. And that's hard to deal with for me, because I'm always happy! My whole life I've been the one who has the positive outlook on any situation, and can laugh at just about anything. Not now, though. I guess it's just because I'm far more sensitive in this place of change. It's so uncomfortable, but it has to be done. God is teaching me to focus on Him and not on other people. I can't be caught up in worry. Worried about failed relationships, worried about saying the right thing (or saying the wrong thing...which seems to be happening a lot lately), worried worried worried. Blah blah blah. I'm done with it. Or at least, I'm trying to be done with it.

God is good. That's what I have to focus on at the end of the day. And no amount of stress, or grief, or unhappiness can change His goodness in my situation. He will always be faithful, good and true.